Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.

Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS.

Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food. Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. Remember - - -"STRESSED" spelled backward is "DESSERTS"

• It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny
  stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home,
  they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were
  for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his older
  brother explained. "Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one
  Sunday I don't go, He showed up!"
  

• One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's
  sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He
  pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?" "I know!"
  a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!"
  

• The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a
  family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just
  planning to support your daughter. The rest of yo! u will have to fend
  for yourselves."
  

• Little Johnny asked his grandpa how old he was. Grandpa answered,
  "Thirty-nine and holding." Johnny thought for a moment, and then said,
  "And how old would you be if you let go?"
  

• As mom was preparing pancakes for her sons, Johnny, 5, and Alex, 3, the
  boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. The mom saw
  the opportunity to teach a moral lesson. She said, "If Jesus were
  sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I
  can wait.'" Johnny quickly turned to his younger brother and said,
  "Okay, Alex, you be Jesus!"
  

• A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed
  around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said
  loudly, "Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm under five."
  

• During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying
  until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over
  to my grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was
  all it took to start my mother's tears flowing. After the wedding, Mom
  went over to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture
  triggered her outburst. "Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment,"
  Grandmother replied, "but I was just checking to see if he was still
  alive."
  

• The Sunday school teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say
  prayers before eating?" "No sir," he replied, "We don't have to. My mom
  is a good cook!"
  

• Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother
  on his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been
  promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she
  asked. "I heard him tell Mommy," the little boy answered, "that he
  would climb the walls if you came to visit."

(\o/)
/_\

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER
(By ERMA BOMBECK)

I would have invited friends over to dinner even en if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the GOOD" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up! on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I wasn't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment realizing that the wonderment growing inside me was! The only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's" and more "I'm sorry's" but mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute.....look at it and really see it ... live it. And never give it back.

IF SOMEONE HAD A GUN HELD IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE AND ASKED YOU IF YOU BELIEVED IN GOD, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? SAY NO AND FEEL ASHAMED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? OR SAY YES, I DO, AND DIE
STANDING UP FOR GOD?

Note: This is a true article that was printed in a southern newspaper
less then a year ago

TAKE A DEEP BREATH BEFORE READING THIS

There was an atheist couple who had a child. The couple never told their
daughter anything about the Lord. One night when the little girl was 5
years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the Mom,
right in front of the child. Then, the dad shot himself. The little girl watched it all. She then was sent to a foster home. The foster mother was a Christian and took the child to church. On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mother told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her. The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?" The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."

Funny, isn't it?

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the
world's going to hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to
believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says. (Or is it scary?)

Funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who,
by the way, also "believes" in God).

Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through
cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to
many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or
what they will think of you for sending it to them.

Funny how we can go to church for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week. (Are you laughing?)

Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than
what God thinks of me. (Are you thinking?)

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Rock, asked her class, "Which Human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" No one answered until little Marcy stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"

With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down. Mrs. Rock ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Little Marcy's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!" The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?" Finally, Bruce stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye." Mrs. Rock said, "Very good, Bruce," then turned to Marcy and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: 

(1) you have a dirty mind, 
(2) you didn't read your homework, and
(3) one day you are going to be very, very disappointed."

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very
   often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
   standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is
   serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
   program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the
    trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a
    mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the
    real world.

25. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

By Dana

A city, a country, a world slumbers, innocently, un-suspecting, unexpecting.
Peaceful. Another world is not so innocent. A dark world, very awake, aware, plotting; troublesome to say the very least. A city, a country, a world wakes, innocently, unsuspecting, unexpecting. Peaceful.

Another world is preparing. Finalizing plans and putting them into action. A city, a country, a world is shocked, in grief, fear, and unforgiving anger. They are confused and hurt, denying and unbelieving. How could so few people have done so much damage and destruction in such little time?

But more than the skyline of a major city is altered. Thousands, millions of peoples’ lives, thoughts, and beliefs have either disintegrated or changed. Another world, a dark world is rejoicing, congratulating each other on a job 
well done. That is the sickest thing of all. More horrible than all of the lives they have already ruined, because they are destroying their life too.

A city, a country, a world will not stand for this. While recovering from a tragedy, the world unites, pulling itself out of the ashes and wreckage. This world vows revenge and justice. That justice will be served and the dark world will rejoice no more. Terror will fall and justice will rise up!

God Bless America!

Inspirational Continued

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